


Part of Me Always Knew

by RandomPersonWithNoName



Series: Scorbus Endgame [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, James is a jerk, LGBT, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Outed, Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Severus Potter Friendship, and some very bad jokes because I'm not funny, be aware, charlie is gay, family love, harry is an awkward dad, he meant well, scorpius is a good friend, scorpius is the only one who can call him al, so is albus, there is a panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21563701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomPersonWithNoName/pseuds/RandomPersonWithNoName
Summary: As Albus Potter grew up, it became increasingly obvious to the people around him that he was interested in boys.  In which Albus was a flamboyant child, Charlie was a patient uncle, and James was clueless.
Series: Scorbus Endgame [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554055
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Part of Me Always Knew

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Fair warning- read the tags. I don't want to give anything away, but a character is outed to his family. It all works out okay, at least in my opinion. Also, there's a description of a panic attack.

“Harry, come look at this!”

  
At Ginny’s voice, he quickly dried his hands on a towel and walked into the next room. Harry had been cooking dinner while Ginny played with the kids, but the sound of laughter drew him out.  
And upon the scene in front of him, Harry couldn’t help but laugh.

  
Ginny sat on the floor among their three shouting children, grinning wildly as she grabbed at James, who had combined several costumes to make a hippogriff-dragon mix. Lily was running, jumping from couch to couch as she chased some enchanted butterflies. Albus trailed Lily, and that’s when Harry noticed what had Ginny giggling.

  
Albus, his youngest son, was in a pink dress and yellow heels, a tiara perched on his head. Lily had a matching yellow dress and pink heels. As Lily chased the butterflies, Albus chased Lily, flapping his arms in an approximation of the butterflies’ wings.

  
Leaning against the door, he crossed his arms as he watched his family.

  
“Mummy, can I get married like you and Dad?” James flopped onto Ginny’s lap, and she bundled the wriggling boy into her arms.

  
“You’re seven, Jamie!” She laughed, and Harry backed into the kitchen.

  
“But I want a wife!”

  
“Why would you want a wife?” Albus wrinkled his nose.

  
Lily kicked off her shoes and jumped on Ginny’s back. “Do you have to get a wife?”

  
Yikes. The pasta water almost boiled over. Harry added the pasta quickly, missing a few moments of conversation.

  
“What if I want a husband?”

  
Harry stopped. That was Albus’s voice.

  
“Don’t be silly Albus, you can’t be a wife!” Harry entered the room as James taunted his brother, reaching out to grab his ankle. Albus hit the floor hard.

  
Wincing, Harry scooped up his youngest son as Ginny scolded James. He quickly carried Albus back into the kitchen and sat him down on the counter.

  
“Hey, hey buddy, it’s okay,” Harry whispered. “I got you.”

  
Albus was about to turn five, and the little boy looked up with big green eyes. “Jamie said I can’t be a wife.” He sniffled, and some snot dripped out of his nose.

  
Harry quickly conjured a tissue, wiping up his face, considering his options closely. His heart skipped a beat as he wondered what to do. “You know, I don’t think James is right on that.”

  
That seemed to be the right thing to say. Albus sniffled again. “Really?”

  
Harry nodded. “When you’re older, you might decide you want a husband instead of a wife. That’s okay. You also don’t have to be a wife in order to have a husband. Not that it’s bad if you end up being a wife, that’s okay too, we’ll still love you-“

  
“Why wouldn’t you love me?” Albus’s eyes watered. Damn. He had said too much.

  
Harry pulled his son against his chest. “There is nothing that could make me love you less,” he whispered fiercely. “Absolutely nothing. I never want you to doubt that.”

  
He felt, more than saw, Albus nod his little head.

  
“You good, little man?” Harry still held his son tightly, not quite ready to let go. How he loved this boy.

  
Albus sniffled again. “Can I stay here a little longer?”

  
“Always.”

* * *

  
Victoire had just graduated, and Harry smiled at the lovely feeling of the Burrow. He could hear the children shrieking as Charlie chased them through the garden, the older kids talking about the end of year exams. George and Bill were talking about Triple W’s recent line release, Hermione, Percy, and Audrey were discussing the adoption processes currently set up by the Ministry.  
And Ginny, beautiful Ginny was leaning against his shoulder, her flowery perfume washing over him. Harry was at peace.

  
“Uncle Charlie? Why don’t you have an Aunt?”

  
Harry cracked an eye open, as Percy and Audrey both turned to look at their youngest daughter. Lucy was 7 now, and inquisitive.

  
Charlie didn’t appear to be ruffled, as he dropped onto the ground in front of her. “What do you mean?”

  
“Uncle Harry has Aunt Ginny, and Uncle Bill has Aunt Floor, and Uncle Ron has Aunt Hermy, and Uncle George has Aunt Angie, and,”

  
“Lucy, do you want some fruit?” Audrey interrupted the little girl, as Charlie’s face flushed.

  
Lucy pouted at her mother, but Charlie waved off Audrey. “It’s fine, Audrey, really.” He scooped the little girl up and sat her on his lap. Charlie’s massive frame dwarfed the slight child, and Lucy snuggled into his chest. The young ones always woke up Charlie after a nightmare when he visited.

  
“I had someone once. The same way that your Uncles and Aunts have each other.” Charlie said. He was keeping his tone casual, but it still carried through the garden.  
Harry looked around at his family, who had all stilled at this announcement. The whole world was listening as Charlie continued.

  
Charlie swallowed, and pulled at some grass. Molly, Hugo, and Lily quietly sat down on either side of Charlie. “It was a long time ago. Before any of you were born. I wanted to introduce the family, you know, it just didn’t happen.”

  
James had drifted back to listen. “Why not?”

  
“After the war, not everything settled down right away. There were a few battles.” Charlie shut his eyes. He swallowed.

  
Bill had started edging closer to his brother but didn’t interrupt. He did, however, shoot Louis a glance when he asked, “What happened to her?”

  
Charlie swallowed again. “He died.”

  
Harry blinked. A quick glance at Ginny told him that she was just as surprised. The only one who didn’t, in fact, was Bill.

  
“Alright, everyone,”

  
“No, it’s-“ Charlie coughed a bit. “It’s fine, Bill. I should talk about him.”

  
All the children had drifted to sit around Charlie. Victoire reached out to pat her uncle’s shoulder. “What was his name?”

  
Charlie smiled, a faraway sort of smile. “Andrew.”

  
The name opened a dam of questions. Harry could barely distinguish who was saying what, among questions of how they met, what Andrew was like, how Andrew died. Angelina shouted at Roxanne, so at least that explained that question.

  
Charlie had moved Lucy off of his lap, and looked like he was about to stand up when one question quieted all the rest.

  
“Are you gay?”

  
Harry’s eyes immediately fell upon his youngest son. On a face so like his own, he usually had some idea what Albus was thinking, but this particular look was unreadable.

  
Charlie cleared his throat and settled back into the grass. “Yeah. I guess so. The label had never really mattered to me. But I’ve never fallen for a girl.”

  
The garden settled into silence once more. Albus opened and closed his mouth several times. Harry held his breath, wondering what precisely he was waiting-

  
“How did you know?” Albus asked. Color had risen high in his cheeks, and he looked down at his hands on his lap.

  
James laughed. “Why do you care?”

  
Harry sat up straight. “James.” Warning laced the edges of his voice.

  
His elder son had the good grace to look contrite. “Sorry- what did I do?”

  
Ginny beckoned him over with a crook of her finger, and the 14-year-old rolled his eyes before getting to his feet.

  
Charlie hadn’t looked away from Albus. “Part of me always knew. I was at Hogwarts. My mates were all talking about the girls in our house, and I had nothing to contribute. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but I slowly realized that I didn’t look at the girls the same way the other lads did. After I realized that, it took another few years before I realized that I was more interested in men.”

  
Albus nodded, slowly, and didn’t raise his eyes from the grass.

  
“Uncle Charlie?” Lily tugged on Charlie’s sleeve. He smiled down at her.

  
“Was Andrew handsome?”

  
Charlie chuckled. “Very.”

* * *

"Part of me always knew."

Albus tossed and turned, the words echoing in his mind. Uncle Charlie had always known? How was that even possible? Was something wrong with him, to be wondering about it so much? Was he supposed to know?

Rolling out of bed, Albus walked over to his desk, scattered with parchment and letters to Scorpius. He had a journal tucked away amongst his school textbooks; Aunt Hermione had charmed it for him for his thirteenth birthday so James and Lily would be less likely to find it.

He sat down, pulling out the journal and grabbing a pen.

> _Dear Scorp,_
> 
> _This isn't a letter that I think you'll ever read. It's just easier sometimes to pretend I'm talking to you. I wouldn't dare bother you with this, not now, not with your mother as sick as she is, but I can't think of anyone else to talk to._
> 
> _My Uncle Charlie told us last week that he was gay. He had once fallen in love with someone named Andrew, who died in a battle following the Second Wizarding War. Andrew was handsome. I'm sure that he mentioned more details than that, but I found myself distracted as soon as I heard Uncle Charlie say that he liked men._
> 
> _It feels weird, to hear someone else say it. Like it's allowed to happen, like it's not just me being weird and different. I can't tell if I'm thinking too hard about this. Girls are nice, right? They have nice hair, and smile a lot, and say nice things. James came home from school last term asking Dad about how to get a girlfriend. I tried listening in as he talked about this girl named Gemma, but I didn't get it._
> 
> _Am I supposed to get it? I'm thirteen. Am I supposed to know? Charlie said he always knew. Is there something wrong with me for not knowing? I don't want to tell anyone just yet, not even you. Not until I think I know for sure. For a three letter word, it feels huge to even be thinking about._
> 
> _I hope your mum gets better soon._
> 
> _Your Al_

* * *

"Third year! We're third years, Al!" Scorp shouted as he threw himself down on a carriage seat. "We'll get to go to Hogsmeade!"

Albus grinned as he sat down on the other seat. "We'll end up buying all of Honeydukes, between the two of us."

Scorpius sat up, grinning. "I can't wait! The two of us, taking on the world!"

"No, just Hogsmeade, mate."

"Close enough."

"Oi." Albus jumped as his brother's head appeared in their compartment. "Lily needs somewhere to sit with people but I have prefect stuff. Do you two mind?"

"Not at all! We were just talking about Hogsmeade!" Scorpius waved in Albus's siblings. Lily sat down quickly and pressed herself against Albus's side, shivering slightly. He wrapped his arm around her.

"Oh, mate, you have to check out Dervish and Banges!" James hoisted Lily's trunk onto the rack above their heads. "Not if you're on a first date though. First dates should be more classic- food and butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks, you know? Take her to Honeydukes with you as well."

"Dates?" Albus looked between Scorpius and James. "We're supposed to have dates?"

James shrugged. "You don't need to have a date, but most people take Hogsmeade weekends as an opportunity for them. It's nice, especially when it's cold- hold your girl close just to keep her warm, you know? If she forgot a scarf or something, be a gentleman and give her yours. It's charming."

Scorpius put down his book. "We can go with blokes, right?"

James laughed. "Of course, why wouldn't you? Get a whole group of your buddies, it's a fun time. Anyways, I have to get moving for the prefect meeting. I'll see you soon, alright?"

And he was gone. Scorpius and Albus looked at each other, eyes wide with questions.

Lily tugged on his sleeve. "Which house do you think I'll be in?"

* * *

James knew he wasn’t supposed to be in Albus’s room. However, the idea of putting an invisible whoopie cushion under Al’s mattress was too good to pass up. The toy was charmed that any weight on it would release a horrendous fart smell that wouldn’t let up for days. Since it was invisible, Albus likely wouldn’t find it any time soon.

  
If he stopped to think about it, this kind of thing was why Albus didn’t trust James in his room.

  
James quickly checked over his shoulder, listening down the stairs. Albus and Uncle Ron were absorbed in a chess game, his father was in the kitchen chatting to Aunt Hermione, and Mum was outside with Lily and Hugo giving them flying lessons. Rose and Scorpius had him mildly worried since he wasn’t sure where they were. He had only a few minutes before someone went looking for him, so he better not dawdle.

  
James crouched down next to the mattress and propped it up on his shoulder so he could push the cushion far under the bed. That’s when he saw the magazines.

  
James frowned. _The Magic Wand_ wasn’t a magazine he had ever heard of before. The picture of a buff, shirtless bloke on the front cover didn’t do much to explain what the magazine was about. James set the whoopie cushion down next to him, grabbed a handful of the magazines, and sat down to have a look.

  
He immediately regretted it, snapping the magazine shut. James had his own secret porn stash, of course, he was seventeen. At least he wasn’t stupid enough to hide it somewhere as obvious as under the mattress! This was different than anything he had seen before. There were two blokes on the page that he had flipped open to.

  
James flipped the magazine back open, this time flipping through the pages a little more carefully. Each page focused on men, the pictures moving in different acts of- well. . .

  
His face burning, James put down the magazine and hurriedly flipped through the rest. They were all the same. One of them was sticky. He tried not to think too hard about that.

  
“Dinner!” Dad’s voice echoed through the house. Outside, he could hear Mum and Lily laughing as they landed.

  
James made a quick decision. If Albus had gotten his hands on porn, he was probably getting his hands on some action. James had been thirteen when his parents sat him down to give him the talk. The responsible thing to do would be to alert his parents of his brother’s activities and let them handle it.

  
James grabbed a magazine and thundered down the stairs. He was the last one to the table, and his mother smiled at him from her place next to Albus.

  
“What is this?” James threw the magazine down on the table in front of Albus. He didn’t check to see which one he had grabbed before coming downstairs and flushed as he realized he picked one with a cover of two men grinding into each other.

  
The table was silent. James’s heart beat loudly in his ears as everyone took in the sight before them.

  
And then he was hexed. Giant, bat-shaped bogeys were attacking his face and he reared back into the living room, bumping into the chess table. The table exploded with noise, loudest of all Albus.

  
“How COULD YOU!” His brother screamed. James could barely see past the bats attacking him, but his brother was bright red in the face. “What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!”

  
“Language, Albus!” Dad said sharply. Mum cast the counter-hex and James stumbled back into the kitchen.

  
Albus was bright red, tears streaming down his cheeks. Aunt Hermione was holding him back, probably to keep him from hexing James again. Dad was standing, holding the magazine, looking between his sons.

  
Mum was advancing on him, and James had little sense in general but enough to know he should probably run. He didn’t get the chance.

Mum grabbed his collar and dragged him outside. “What on earth were you thinking?”

  
“I was in his room-”

  
“You shouldn’t be, you know that!”

  
“And that whoopie cushion Uncle George gave me, I was gonna put it under his bed!”

  
“How did you get that back? Your father confiscated it!”

  
“He gave me another one, last Sunday, told me to use it well. Anyways, I went under his mattress and he’s got a whole stack of them! Like five or six! And they’re all like that!”

  
James swallowed as his mum looked at him. “And what exactly made you think that outing your brother to his family and friends was in any way acceptable?”

  
“Outing?”

  
“It’s his business to tell us, James, not yours, and you took that away from him!”

  
“What do you mean, outing?”

  
“We did not raise you to be cruel!”

  
“Wait, wait, wait.” James held his hands up. “Albus isn’t out?”

  
Mum paused, brushing her hair back from her face. “What do you mean?”

  
James shrugged. “I thought it was pretty clear. He asked Uncle Charlie a bunch of questions about being gay when Uncle Charlie came out at Vic’s graduation party, he hasn’t dated a single girl and turned them all down, and he’s constantly making moon eyes at-“

  
“Enough, James.” Dad slipped out the front door to join them. “It doesn’t matter that you’ve guessed. Albus’s business and sexuality are his to tell. You will speak of this to no one, do you understand me?”

  
“And you’re grounded for the next month. No flights, no owls,”

  
“No! Mum! Don’t make me write-“

  
“You are going to write an essay on why outing someone is wrong.” Mum hissed. “You will do it, you will not complain, you will use sources, I’ll get Hermione to read it-“

  
“Mum!”

  
“And since you keep whining, you’re writing your brother an apology letter as well!” Mum shouted. “Have I made myself clear?”

  
Dad reached out to touch her elbow. “I’m going back to check on Al.”

  
James shivered as his dad slipped back inside, despite the warm night. Mum’s arms were crossed as she stared him down.

  
“I thought I was helping,” James said in a small voice. “I started snogging people at fifteen, and you and dad gave me the talk when I was thirteen, and it’s probably different for- for gay men and I figured you would have to discuss it with him again.”

  
Mum sighed. “James, what your father and I discuss with your brother is not your business.”

  
James nodded.

  
“Come inside and eat your dinner.”

  
“Can I apologize to Albus first?”

  
Mum paused, her hand on the doorknob. “I’m not sure that’s the best idea at the moment.”

  
James nodded again and followed her back into the kitchen.

* * *

“Albus?”

  
He could hear his father at the door. Albus had locked it, of course, not that it meant anything in a house full of people who can easily cast alohomora. It was more the gesture that counted.

  
His father knocked again. “Albus, I want to talk. If you need space, that’s okay, but I’m going to stand here until you tell me otherwise.”

  
Albus sobbed into his pillow. He was so pathetic. He couldn’t even work up the courage to tell his parents, and now his father was going to read him the riot act for being gay.

  
Dad knocked again. “Albus? Please.”

  
Albus was crying so hard, he couldn’t speak. He was probably hyperventilating- he had been dealing with panic attacks, not that his parents knew- and this combination usually led to him getting sick.

  
“Alohomora!”

  
“No, Scorpius, don’t!”

  
Scorpius was in front of him now, pulling him into a hug. Dad hovered in the doorway, apparently having tried and failed to keep Scorpius out of his room.

  
“It’s okay, it’s okay, hush,” Scorpius mumbled into his hair. “It’s okay, Al, you’re okay.”

  
Dad knelt down in front of him and tried to catch his eye. “Albus, I need you to take a deep breath for me.”

  
Albus shuddered through a deep breath but sobbed again on the way out.

  
“I got you.” Scorpius held him tighter as Albus squeezed his eyes shut.

  
He was vaguely aware of his father continuing to direct him through breathing, but Albus couldn’t help but push away from Scorpius and wretch onto the carpet.

  
“I got you, it’s okay, I’m here.” Scorpius’s hands were on his back, and it was all too much.

  
“FUCK OFF!” he shouted, bracing himself into a corner. “Don't touch me, just fuck off, I can’t, I can’t breathe, I can’t!”

  
And then a potion was being tipped into his mouth, and he could breathe.

  
Dad hovered over him, wand in one hand, a bottle labeled “Calming Draught” in the other. Albus blinked a few times, and his father sat down heavily in front of him.

  
Scorpius was on the far side of the room, twisting his hands. He was close to tears himself.

  
“Sorry.” Albus croaked. “I shouldn't have shouted.”

  
Scorpius nodded and glanced at Albus. He looked back down at his shoes. He nodded again. He looked back up at Albus and kept nodding.

  
Albus held his arms out, and Scorpius dived into them for a hug. Scorp was shaking almost as much as he was. “Sorry,” Albus mumbled again.

  
Dad cleared his throat. “Scorpius, thank you for being a good friend to Albus. However, I do want to talk to Albus about what just happened- it’s your choice, whether or not Scorpius stays, don’t get me wrong, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

  
Albus pulled his arms away from Scorpius and tried to fake a smile. “I’ll see you downstairs?”

  
“Okay.” Scorpius nodded again. “Okay. Okay.”

  
“Okay.” Albus murmured back.

  
“Evanesco,” Dad waved his wand at the pile of sick between Scorpius and the door. “Scorpius, if you want to stay and eat, you’re perfectly welcome to, but also feel free to go home, okay?”

  
“I’m just gonna- I’ll be downstairs, Al, okay?”

  
Albus nodded. The door clicked shut behind him.

  
“Sitting on the bed will probably be more comfortable, come here.” Dad grasped his hands and hauled him up, and Albus just about collapsed on the bed.

  
Dad poked his head out the door. “Ron! Bring me Albus’s plate!”

  
“Oh, Dad, I don’t-“

  
“That was a panic attack. You’ll need to eat to get your strength back up.” Dad waited at the door a moment longer, before shutting it behind him and handing the plate to Albus.

  
“I know you’ve been asking for locking charms on your door for years. You know why we’ve resisted so that you don’t get trapped in here if something were to go wrong, but we can try and look into specific charms to keep James out.”

  
Albus poked at his food and shrugged. “That was the only real secret anyways.”

  
He avoided looking at his dad as he sat down on the bed, leaving a few feet between them. “When you were four, you asked me if you had to have a wife.”

  
Albus looked up at his father then.

  
“James had been asking about getting married, and he made some comment about wanting a wife for all the hugs and love, and you were so disgusted with the idea.”

  
“I was four, Dad, is any four-year-old keen to get married?”

  
“No, but a four-year-old boy dressed in a pink princess dress, heels, and a tiara yelling about how he would rather have a husband left a lasting impression.”

  
Albus could feel himself flushing. “I don’t remember that.”

  
Dad shrugged. “We didn’t think much of it at the time, just laughed it off. Now, when you were twelve and asking Charlie how he knew he was gay, that was enough for us to wonder. Your mother and I agreed that we wouldn’t say anything until you were ready to.”

  
“I was going to tell you,” Albus said weakly. “I promise, I was going to.”

  
“Hey, don’t worry.” Dad shifted closer, putting his hand on his knee. “If you weren’t ready for us to know, that’s okay. We can pretend we don’t know?”

  
“That would make it worse.” Albus mumbled.

  
Dad nodded. “Right. Okay. Right.”

  
Albus picked at a loose thread on his quilt. “I’m sorry.”

  
“You don’t have to be sorry.” Dad whispered.

  
“You must be so disappointed.”

  
“Why, that my son has a strong sense of self?” Dad said sharply. Albus looked up and met his eyes. “I’m disappointed that my son was brave enough to ask questions to try and figure himself out? To explore himself?”

  
Albus coughed, and Dad’s face turned red. “I just- I meant that- Not like that!”

  
Albus couldn’t bring himself to look up anymore. He folded in on himself and made himself as small as possible.

  
“You want to know what I told you when you were four, asking if you could have a husband someday? I told you that you could have a husband or a wife, and that would all be okay. I told you that if you decided you would rather be a wife, that would also be okay. And most importantly, I told you that I would love you, no matter what. And that’s all still true today.”

  
Albus pulled at a loose thread, and then stood up. He put his plate of food on his desk, and hesitated.

  
He whirled around and threw himself at his dad. Dad caught him and held him tight, squeezing all the air out of his chest.

  
“I love you too, dad.” Albus mumbled.

  
“Come on. Let’s go eat dinner. Mum should be through with James right about now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think! I'm planning on writing more in this universe just because I really desperately want a slow burn Scorbus fic that drags this out for soooo long. And also ignores Cursed Child. There's plenty out there, but I want more!


End file.
